This was brought to my attention by a video (here) that came across my feed. I have to admit to some myopia regarding men in womanface–I’ve been looking mainly at sports and locker rooms and bathrooms.
But this video pointed out the ‘trans widows’ (they have put together a website with their stories–here).
Women in this situation report feeling like their male partner has died. This is particularly the case if they decide to transition. The transformation is usually so complete that their partner is unrecognisable as the man they married both in looks and in personality. The woman will be forbidden from calling her husband by his previous “dead name”.
The women married to men who decide to ‘transition’. And it’s pretty horrific. Firstly you have a man who decides he’s a woman. Perhaps he’s been wearing your clothes, using your makeup, and modeling himself after you. Maybe for years. Then he decides he’s going to formally transition to the world. And there you are.
Unlike when a spouse comes out as gay or as a lesbian, there’s a bunch of other issues.
Like names. Can’t call Peanut by his name anymore (the name you used when getting married–the one you used when you said love and cherish). Kids. Trying to explain why daddy dresses like mommy and is now named Lola. Or if daddy now wants to be called mommy also. And daddy doesn’t look or sound like daddy anymore. And most of these men are heterosexual–they are sexually attracted to women (many refer to themselves as lesbians, much to the dismay of many actual lesbians).
I can’t even imagine. It’s a whole different level of abuse.
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